Can we come to an agreement on something? Can we all agree that Valentine’s Day is the most pointless “holiday” of all time?
Controversial opinion, I know. But hear me out.
I mean, sure, for anyone past puberty, Valentine’s Day is a chance to pledge your undying love to another through cards, candy, dinner or some other romantic gesture. For couples, it’s a nice chance to go out and get overcharged on a meal and perhaps, if you play your cards right, you’ll get lucky (If you know what I mean).
But why in the name of Cupid is this a thing that my kids are put through year after year? Why is my 7-year-old asking another 7-year-old to “Be Mine”? Isn’t it all a little… creepy?
The fact that many schools have banned Halloween but stand by Valentine’s Day is downright baffling. Halloween is an awesome time full of costumes, fun and imagination. Valentine’s Day is a day of filling out 30-plus Frozen or Transformers cut-out cards using your kid’s attendance form.
It really should be called Meta Carpal Tunnel Syndrome day.
And how will my kids spend February 14th? Assembling makeshift mailboxes and then delivering cards to one another. And then what? Well, they’ll bring the cards home and they will most likely clutter up my house for a couple weeks until my wife and I decide to secretly pitch them on the next recycling day.
Like I said – pointless.
I realize that Valentine’s Day was created by “Big Gift Card” companies to rake in some much-needed dough. But is the economy in so much trouble that it needs a boost in sales of smelly erasers, waxy chocolate hearts and 40 packs of cheap cards to keep things afloat? Can’t we just make this one of those days that you can only celebrate if you’re THIS MANY YEARS OLD? Can it maybe be one of those days that adults celebrate and kids think we are looney tunes for taking part?
I’d say more on this topic but really must go. My 5-year-old needs me to help her confess her undying love to 30 of her classmates.