An Open Letter to My Kindergartner at Midterm

Father and daughter walking across a covered bridge holding hands.

Well kiddo, you made it to January. To paraphrase Mr. Bon Jovi: You're half way there. Oh oh. You're living on a prayer.

Actually, that's not quite true. It's just JK and your chances of getting through are pretty much 99.9% guaranteed. I'll save prayers for high school when we will really need some great scholarships to pay for university.

You've done pretty well for yourself in the first 3 months of school. First and foremost, you didn't get lice. Good for you. You dodged that bullet, but I fear we will never be out of the woods. Lice are like zombies - eventually they are going to get us all.

You made some friends. Six I believe. That's a good number. Unfortunately, you are about to have a birthday party and you can only invite the same number of kids as years that you are alive - which is 5. You will need to sever ties with one of them. I don't write the rules but if I didn't enforce them it would be like Lord of the Flies out there.

I have a couple of suggestions. One is that well-mannered and handsome boy named Alonzo. He's a nice kid, but maybe a little too nice if you get what I'm saying. I don't trust him. He seems like the kind of kid that will drive a nice car in high school and wear cologne. Stay away! There is also that girl Carol. While she is not exactly a mean girl, she did look at my car the other day in a very judgemental manner. And while I can't be certain, I'm pretty sure she muttered that my car looked "like ass". Like I said, I can't be certain, but this is the time for you to show you loyalty to the family. The Dad Remembers!

You seem to like school and that's great. I should remind you that the clock is ticking and in 12 years you will be in college or university. How is the reading and arithmetic coming along? I only ask because I am pretty sure the other day you said "ELEMNOP" instead of the individual letters. You also misquoted the 6th digit of Pi. What is this 3.14158 nonsense?!? Perhaps your teachers should do a little more teaching and a little less napping and watching Peppa Pig.

I'm glad you have embraced the whole school thing. It's not like you had a choice, but still, education is important and it's nice that you get to be close to your sisters during the day. It's also awesome that you are away during the days so I can occasionally work from home and hang out with your mama.

Have a great 2nd half of the year and, again, please don’t get lice.

Love, Dad

Picture of Mark Medland

Author: Mark Medland

Mark Medland is a 40 something father of five who lives in Mississauga, Ontario. When he is not working at one of the big Canadian banks or raising his kids, he likes to cheer for the Habs and eat amazing food with his wife Vanessa.

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