The Funniest Things Your Kids Say

We asked. You told us. And we all had a really good laugh. Your kids say some funny stuff, you guys! Thanks for sharing. Enjoy these gems!

I had gotten dressed up to go out for dinner with my hubby. My oldest saw me and exclaimed excitedly, “Mom! You look beautiful! Just like a bat!” In his opinion, that is high praise. 🙂    -Tara Knott

My 2 and a half year old: “You’re killing me, Dani” complete with a hand up in the air and then down to slap her knee.  –Danielle Chavez

My 3 year old was holding his grilled cheese in his hands looking at it and said, “Mom, is this kosher?” – Annie Dibra

A man with a white beard was helping out with lacrosse practice and when my son got in the car he said, “Santa was my lacrosse coach.” – Michelle Smith McCracken

At the Starbucks drive-thru, my 5 year old said to me “How much was that?”  I answered “$6”, to which she replied, “You’re wasting your money!!”  – Heather Dixon

“Grandma is so good with kids! Why didn’t she have any of her own?!” – Deanna Rahier

My son found my bra on the floor and said “Mommy you left your boobie goggles on the floor”. The word ‘bra’ has forever been replaced with ‘boobie goggles’ in this house. – Meredith Watson

My daughter wanted to go down to the basement while my husband was on a call for work. I said to her, “You can’t go right now. Daddy would be angry if you go while he is working. He isn’t taking any visitors.” My daughter: “I’m not a visitor. I’m his KID!!!” – Andrea Brodie

 

WRITING 101

 

I asked my 3 year old to clean her toy room which was extremely messy.  Five minutes later, she came upstairs…

Me: You cleaned your WHOLE toy room already?

She nodded.

Me: So any toys that are left on the ground can be given to poor kids?

Her: “Yep”….long pause….”But you can’t go down to check because there’s a monster down there!”

– Vanessa Ruddell

“Mum can I have your phone? I need to make a selfie…” – Lindsay Wirth

My 4 year old son told me my hair looked really pretty because it is brown and grey! – Nicole Caecoh Guay

When passing gas in the bathtub my daughter said to me, “My butt is blowing bubbles!” – Zahra Do

 After visiting kindergarten at her new school and having a mini orientation with 5 other students, my 5 year old daughter says (the night before her full day) “So are all my people going to be there tomorrow?” –  Jenn Hurd

My 6 year old asked me the other day: “Is uncle still in school?” I said: “No, he’s a military policeman now”. She replies with: “What does that mean?” I say: “Well, he’s a policeman now, but if he gets called to war, he has to go and fight to protect us. Know what I mean?” She nods confidently and replies with: “Oh! Yeah! Like star wars!” – Chatelaine Chantal-louie

One kid bites the other. His defense? “He fell into my mouth!” – Sarah Kydd-Houghton

WRITING 101 (1)

My daughter had a supply teacher at school one day and I asked her who she was (a good friend of mine was a supply teacher at the time). So I asked my daughter “Was her name Ms. Squirrell?” She promptly replied, “Oh no mom, they don’t allow squirrels in the school.” – Jessalynn Sammons

My son said at dinner after spending time with his grandparents “Mom, your dad is growing hair again.” (My dad has been bald for 25 years) – Jennifer Craven Aitken

My 3 year old, while on the toilet, has a look downward and then grins up at me… “Mommy… My bits are getting bigger!” Classic. – Maggie Kinsella

Instead of ‘Hold your horses’ my daughter said to me: “Hold on you horse!” – Liz Gaudet

And our personal favourite…

My daughter was sleeping over at my parents’ and they were watching Family Feud. The question was ‘What’s something a mom would let her kids do and not her husband?’ My daughter who was 6 or 7 at the time immediately said “Breastfeed. Cause who wants a man hanging off your boobs all the time?” – Shonna Sager

🙂

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Author: Mabels Labels

3 thoughts

  1. My cousin one thought that a German Shepard was a monster, my family didn’t know that just yet so we all pretended to go and kill the monster, it was so funny!!

  2. Just a few days ago I was telling my niece about how my seven yr old Leva had this convo with me:
    “Hey mom! I was born different!”
    “Oh really? How were you born?”
    “See, babies in heaven are kept in cages like me.”
    “What?”
    “And I kept getting out of my cage ’cause I’m a sneaky lil rebel!”
    “Yeah?”
    “And then Grandpa caught me and threw me down to earth ’cause I was a pain….. and then I ate red lobster!”

    Then niece says:
    “I was born in the sand! That’s why I’m a beach girl! I was born in the sand and I slept to get my baby nutrients and then I woke up and crawled out of the sand like a zombie from my tomb. And then I wanted to be born so I hid in a toilet and I crawled up a lady through her engine (her word for vagina)!”

    Weirdest thing ever. Leva has a gift for starting the weirdest conversations.

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