Losing My Identity in Motherhood

nature-fashion-person-woman

Sometimes I sit around thinking about my girls when they're teens. (And when I say "thinking", I really mean "worrying" like a neurotic person).

I wonder about millions of things. I wonder if they'll like me. I wonder if they'll think I hugged and kissed them enough as kids. I wonder if they'll have body issues because I once said I didn't like my thighs. I'm always wondering if I'll be... good enough.

Maybe it's because of the information out there. I can't open up Facebook, take a look at Twitter or glance at the newspaper without finding multitudes of articles on how to be a good parent.

The latest that's twisting and turning in the back of my mind? “Don't lose yourself in parenting”. If you no longer have a sense of self, you won't model independence for your children. And you want your kids to grow up strong and independent.

That's an interesting one. So... be a good parent, but don't be too into it, because then you won't be yourself anymore?

Hmmm.

All I do are Mom things. That’s all I can do right now, really. I get my kids up, change them, dress them, feed them breakfast. We play. We go places. We have lunch and naps. Then I change them, give them a snack, find some other activities, followed by bath and bed time. Then I do it all over again the next day.

Sure, I work part time and I manage to find time to work out a few times a week and go out with friends every now and again. But while I'm out with friends, all we do is talk about our kids.

Is that a bad thing? Am I losing my pre-kid self? Should I give something up (like my coveted down time on the couch in front of the TV at night) so I can do things that make me more me?

So this is my latest worry. As I sit here and watch Anna, Lauren and Paige, I wonder who they see.

Who will they see when they're grown up?

Will they see a person who loved being their Mom with every ounce of her being? Or will they see a woman who lost her sense of self?

Will they see a strong woman who chose to stay at home part time and devote a large part of her life to them because she wanted to? Or will they see a woman who had mostly menial tasks to fill her day?

Will they see a happy woman who loved to play and laugh with them? Or a tired one, drowning in laundry and dishes?

This is one of those things that I have no answer for. I don't know if I'm doing the right thing. I don't know if I'm leading by example for my daughters.

So I guess all I can do is close my eyes and take a giant leap of faith with my girls. (Preferably into a big old ball pit where we'll roll around and giggle and be silly).

Because that's what I want to do and who I want to be right now.

 

About the Author:

heather pic

Heather Dixon is a copywriter at Mabel’s Labels, a smoothie aficionado, a runner and a Mom to three highly advanced little girls (according to her husband and her).

 

Want to keep up to date with Mabel's Labels? Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and sign up for our e-newsletter at the bottom of the page!

Picture of Heather Dixon

Author: Heather Dixon

Heather Dixon is a parenting blogger, a Mom to three highly advanced little girls (according to her husband and her), a runner and a lover of wine and beer - which is why she runs. Follow her on Facebook and Instagram. You can also find her on her new blog, Little Humans Eating Healthy.

Top Posts

No Bake Holiday Treats
The Minimalist Mom
My Top 10 Educational TV Shows for Kids
The Funniest Things Your Kids Say
No Toys for Christmas
New Year, New Laundry System
Fundraiser Spotlight: Labels for Luca
DIY: Pull-Up Bars
10 Strategies for a Clutter-Free Crafting Station
Fridge Organization Tips

Archives