Posts Tagged: Parenting

Mommy, There’s A Monster!

One great thing about watching our babies grow is witnessing them become more imaginative. With that overactive imagination though can come fear of boogie monsters, dragons, ghosts, and the like. As parents, how do we deal with this anxiety in children?

Well, we can look to the SARS epidemic as an example of what to do and what not to do when managing fear.

If respected doctors tell you that there is no reason to be afraid of SARS in Toronto, but then cancel their own conference in the same city, the public deduces that if the experts think there is something to fear, then there must be.

To “less knowledgeable” children, you are the “expert” on everything. If you say “there is no such things as monsters” and then promptly check under the bed, you may unintentionally be demonstrating a reason why they should be afraid. “Heck even the experts are checking the beds and closets!”

Diminishing Fears

We cannot control our children’s fears, but how we react to them can work to either support or de-emphasize them. One strategy is to be “unimpressed” (neither dismissive nor all consumed) and talk in a matter of fact fashion. Don’t waver in your conviction that there are no monsters by saying things like, “Really? You saw a monster in your closet. What did he look like?” It is more comforting to say “There are no such things as monsters. You are creating them with your imagination. And what a wonderful imagination it is!”

Coping Strategies For Fear

Teach your children coping techniques to help them work through their fears. Try some of these responses to help them overcome their anxiety:

“I understand that you are afraid, but I know you are safe and I would never let anything harm you, so you need to think happy warm thoughts instead of scary thoughts. That will help you get to sleep.”

“You’ll have to have a little talk with that imagination of yours and let it know that it is getting in the way of sleeping.”

“When you decide it’s bugging you so much that you have to stop thinking those thoughts – I am sure you will!”

“If watching this video or movie before bed makes you imagine scary things, perhaps you would like to watch something else at bedtime.”

Watch For “The Hidden Pay-off”

Don’t give a “hidden pay-off” by giving your child exceptional service such as letting them sleep in your bed, or keeping you hostage in their room until they fall asleep. If you enjoy caring for your child in these loving ways, do it because you want to. Don’t make them create “issues” to mobilize you into this type of affection or they’ll learn to use issues as a technique to get you to care for them.

 

About the Author:

Alyson Schafer

Alyson Schafer

Alyson Schafer is a psychotherapist and one of Canada’s most notable parenting experts. She is the resident expert on The Marilyn Denis Show, CTV News Channel and CBC’s The World This Weekend. Alyson is an “Ask an Expert” Columnist for Today’s Parent Magazine, and sits on the Health Advisory Board for Chatelaine Magazine.  Alyson is the best selling author of “Breaking The Good Mom Myth” and “Honey, I Wrecked The Kids” and her latest, “Ain’t Misbehavin”.  She is an international speaker including the inaugural TEDxKids in Brussels and offers free parenting tips at www.alysonschafer.com

School’s Out For The Summer!

A big bag of lost and found items!


I know it’s officially summer when my son arrives home from school with a huge garbage bag filled to the top with his locker contents and all of his items that were fished out of the Lost and Found.

This year the haul included 3 thermoses, 3 winter hats, 2 baseball hats, 2 hoodies, a winter coat and a baseball glove (along with lots of crumpled up paper, old tests and some school supplies).  Yikes!  I long for the day that my son is more organized, but until then I’m glad we’ve got Mabel’s Labels on everything so that his stuff makes it back home…eventually!

Along with the warm weather, family vacations, and more relaxed schedules, I’m practically giddy about not making lunches every day. The fact that everyone’s wearing sandals and flip flops is a bonus too, because it means I won’t need to keep the sock basket filled.  Our family sock strategy consists of a basket near the front door filled with single socks. There’s no point in pairing them up because my kids just un-match them anyway. Rebels!

We’re looking forward to some fun outdoor activities and games, including afternoons by Grandma’s pool, backyard BBQ’s and evenings at our local Drive-In Theatre. Watching a drive in movie under the stars is so much fun and is a favourite summer tradition for us. There’s nothing cuter than seeing lots of little ones in their pajamas, swinging on the swing set and playing Frisbee while waiting for the first feature to start. Later they’ll be sleepy and cozy as their parents carry them straight from the car to their beds. Somewhere along the line I stopped wearing my PJ’s to the drive-in, but I think this may be the summer to revive that tradition. I’m not sure I’ll get carried in from the car, but it’s worth a try.

In addition to all the family fun times that summer brings, I love the quiet early mornings all to myself in the garden. It’s full of promise at this time of year, with lots of different vegetables and greens. This year we’ve got tomatoes, peppers, broccoli, cauliflower, celery, bok choy, kale, collard greens, romaine and red lettuce. I’m hoping that when our kids are hungry, they’ll grab some cherry tomatoes off the vine instead of reaching for cookies (a mom can always dream!).

Garden Veggies!

What do YOU love most about summertime?  Any fun ideas to share? What are some of your favourite family vacations and summer activities for kids?

 

About the Author:

Karen Pearson is one of the friendly voices you’ll hear on the other end of the phone when calling Customer Service at Mabel’s Labels. She enjoys writing about her family, which includes a husband, 3 kids and a rescue dog from Greece.

The PANK Perspective: What should I name my baby?

Joe, Jim and Jack. That’s my dad and his brothers. I’ve asked him why my Grandmother named all 3 of her sons with names starting with “J” and he didn’t really have much of an answer for me except, “those were popular baby names back then.” It seems like it might still be on trend. He told me that when they were little she added “y/ie” to their names. Joey, Jimmy and Jackie. He hated it.

My SIL had considered naming my second nephew with a name starting with the same letter as his older brother, but because her and my bro couldn’t agree, she forfeited and let him choose. He didn’t have it start with the same letter.

A few months ago my boyfriend’s sister had a baby boy. His name was chosen well before he arrived, and it starts with the same letter as the names of his Mom, Dad and sister. She struggled with picking a name for the longest time, should it be a popular baby name or a unique baby name? She liked one, he didn’t. He liked another, she didn’t. Finally they decided, and this new bundle of joy fits perfectly within the ‘family club.’

So, this got me thinking…how do you go about naming your baby? Choosing a name for another human being that they have for a lifetime?

My Mom wanted to call me Laura, one of the popular girl names at the time, but my Dad thought it sounded funny with my last name. I wasn’t named until I was born, and she chose Diane. Not quite sure why, but she jokes it’s because Diane/Diana is “Goddess of the moon” and I was born breech.

Not many parents-to-be back then found out the sex of their baby before it arrived like they do now. So, when my brother arrived prematurely my parents didn’t have a name chosen. The doctors warned my parents to quickly name him because his chances of surviving were slim. They named him after my Dad, and obviously the little fighter lived and I grew up in a household with two people with the same name. Very confusing once my brother’s friends entered puberty and called for him. “Sr. or Jr.?” I would have to ask each time. Argh.

So, if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that my name is Diane, and my brother’s is Jack. Yes, just like the song; Jack and Diane. This wasn’t on purpose, however the song was released two months prior to my arrival, so perhaps Mom listened to it many times and in her exhaustion after 16 hours of labour she subconsciously chose my name.

I’ve fantasized about what I would name my would-be child. For a boy, I like a few, some of which are included in the top baby names such as; Kevin, Joshua, Randall, Benjamin and Elijah. If I do get pregnant and have a girl, I’ll need to resort to the trusted baby name book to assist me with girl names. However, right now, I really like the name Bridget. But then I played the “Banana-Rama” song with it and realized that it rhymes with a name that I wouldn’t wish upon her. I’m only 5’3” so if she inherited my short stature she’d be picked on. Kids are mean. This is the kind of stuff I sometimes think about. Whacked.

So, how did you come up with the name for your child(ren)? Are you a fan of popular baby names or uncommon baby names? Did you name your child after someone as my brother was? Did you want them to have the same initials as their sibling? Or, did you had the name chosen well before you met your bundle of joy?

About the Author:

Diane Morris is a PANK; Professional Aunt, No Kids and works for Mabel’s Labels as the Sales Coordinator. She’s an Aunt to two boys, and an “Auntie” to her boyfriend’s niece and nephew. She’s a sucker for romance, country music and peanut butter.

Related Posts with Thumbnails