Posts Tagged: kids chores

Alyson Schafer discusses children and chores and the challenge of raising a responsible child

Have you ever pulled your hair out trying to get your children to be punctual, do their chores or finish their school work?  I joined CTV Morning Live in Winnipeg to talk about Raising a Responsible Child.

About the Author:

Alyson Schafer

Alyson Schafer

Alyson Schafer is a psychotherapist and one of Canada’s most notable parenting experts. She is the resident expert on The Marilyn Denis Show, CTV News Channel and CBC’s The World This Weekend. Alyson is an “Ask an Expert” Columnist for Today’s Parent Magazine, and sits on the Health Advisory Board for Chatelaine Magazine.  Alyson is the best selling author of “Breaking The Good Mom Myth” and “Honey, I Wrecked The Kids” and her latest, “Ain’t Misbehavin”.  She is an international speaker including the inaugural TEDxKids in Brussels and offers free parenting tips at

To Pay or Not To Pay For Chores

Every parent has their own variation of how they handle chores around the house, we have even talked about chores here at the Mabelhood in the past.  There is no right or wrong way to do it, but I firmly believe the children should help do SOMETHING.

I’ve gone into homes where the mom rattles off her to do list and clutter issues while falling apart at the seams. Then I ask “What are the kids doing to help?” Ahh, Well, MMM… has too often been the answer. Why do mom’s feel like they have to do it all by themselves? Granted it is best to start kids young so chores become part of their daily lives, but if they aren’t doing chores yet, start now!

But here comes the big question, to pay or not to pay? I understand allowances but I have never used them. Our 11 year old just started getting paid for certain tasks but that is more of a money management teaching tool for us. He has normal chores he must do. All of the kids do. WE ARE A TEAM. There are certain things we have to do in the house so that it doesn’t fall apart or trash and dirty dishes don’t pile up to the sky. Can you imagine if I said, nah I don’t feel like washing the clothes…EVER. I certainly don’t get paid to do them if anything Mom and Dad have to pay for the water and detergent to wash the clothes. We pay to do our chores! My kids look at me quizzical when I say that, probably scaring them out of adulthood all together.

In our home, an age appropriate chore is given to each child. We even have them “graduate” to the next thing, then they all rotate up a chore. They actually get excited about it until they realize the next chore is just as dull as the last. But it gets done and they learn what it means to be part of a team. It’s not about standing over them and hounding them to get it done but working next to them and providing a good example.

I love the idea of intricate chore charts, reward systems and pay rates for chores. I just prefer to keep it simple.

So, what about you Mabelhood readers… Do you use chore charts? And how would you answer the Pay or Not to Pay Question?

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