Posts Tagged: Guest Post

#World’sWorstHockeyMom

Guest Post from Karen Pearson.

I started that hashtag for fun one day on Twitter, after my son’s coach skated over to the boards with a smile on his face, to let me know that I had put my 10-year-old son’s goalie pads on the wrong legs. * face palm *

Don’t get me wrong; I’m no stranger to chilly arenas and snack bar hot chocolate. We’ve got three kids who all took skating lessons and performed in those big production skating shows at the end of the year. Shows complete with dress rehearsals, lighting, music, professional photos and souvenir DVDs. Elaborate costumes ranging from Alice in Wonderland to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and my all-time favourite the adorable Penguins (perfect choice for aspiring 4-year-old skaters. Lots of shuffling, falling down, helping each other back up…still one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen!).

But hockey’s different. I’d heard stories from other parents about how hockey completely takes over your life, and if your child makes it into rep, LOOK OUT! When we signed our son up for Timbits many years ago, my husband agreed that he would be the hockey parent and handle all those details like registration deadlines, schedules, skate sharpening, equipment shopping, and shuttling to early morning practices and games. I can be counted on to make sure all the equipment is labeled (with the Hockey Combo, naturally!), show up for games and marvel at how it’s even possible for a young boy’s hockey equipment to smell THAT bad.

When my husband is out of town, with the best of intentions I bravely slip into the hockey mom role (see goalie pad mix-up above). I sit in the stands with the other hockey parents and try to casually divert the conversation when talk turns to levels, divisions and stats (Yikes, is he in blue or white this year? Which one is the middle level? Is this Atom or Pee Wee?). I can’t get that equipment in the washing machine fast enough and admit to accidentally putting the cup back in the jock backwards AND upside down. Ouch! Apparently nobody ever takes those things out when they wash the jock. Who knew?

We always wanted our son to play hockey for fun, exercise and all the benefits that come from playing a team sport. Now that he’s getting older, the pressure’s heating up and the stakes seem higher. I’m okay with my lackadaisical role and I’m pretty sure he won’t be scarred by the involvement I’ve had (or haven’t had) in his hockey years.

In fact, I think he enjoys teasing me about almost melting his new mouth guard in boiling water, hearing me yelling from the stands “Hey, no pushing!” whenever anyone gets a little rough with him on the ice…and those tricky goalie pads.

Does your child play hockey? If so, what’s YOUR hockey parenting style? How does your family manage all the sports and activities in your busy household? Ever put goalie pads on the wrong legs or something similar? I can’t be the only one, right? Right?

 

The single most important thing I hope my daughters learn from me.

Guest Post by Mabel’s Labels Copywriter, Heather Dixon

Isn’t it funny how the power and meaning of parenting just creeps up on you sometimes?

One minute you’re in the grocery store looking at a bag of milk and the next you’re sobbing over how incredible your child is because they know how to drink from a sippy cup all of the sudden. They’re just so amazing.

I learned all about this 4 years ago, when I had my first baby girl – and then again 2 years ago when I had my second. Once I had Anna & Lauren, I knew all about this true, incredible love parents just seem to develop immediately and the responsibility that comes along with it.

But my moment of clarity wasn’t in the grocery store. It happened when my Mom and I went to see the musical The Secret Garden while my daughters stayed home with their Dad.

Since it’s a children’s story, there were lots of Moms and Dads and their little kids with them in the theatre. At the end of the row we were sitting in were two little boys. Brothers. Maybe about 6-years old. They looked like they could be twins. One of the boys appeared to have a disability.

Having no personal experience with special needs, I wasn’t sure what his was. All I knew for sure was that he was in a wheelchair – and his parents were very attentive. They watched him closely as he took a sip of his drink. They helped him with his hearing aid when the music was a bit too loud for him.

At one point, near the end of the play, something sort of exciting happened on stage. And when everything went silent, an excited “Whoa!” came from beside us. Everyone nearby turned to see the little boy, no longer in his wheelchair but curled into his Mom’s lap, watching the play intently. It was a sweet moment.

When the play ended, I couldn’t help but want to look over at the little boy again. So I did. And I saw him smiling. Smiling so broadly. His whole body was kind of shaking with excitement.

He was just so… happy.

And I started crying and crying.

I was crying because his parents brought him there. He cuddled into their laps. They rubbed the back of his head with his fuzzy little-boy hair. And they made him incredibly, incredibly happy that day.

That little boy was so clearly and undeniably loved. And that’s what everyone wants, really. We all want to love and be loved.

Seeing that family made me think of my daughters. Sure, I think they’re so cute and funny and smart. I love them more than anything. But I realized in that moment that it’s so incredibly important that they know it.

I realized that I have a huge responsibility to make sure my daughters feels undeniably loved. Life is all about loving these little beings into becoming happy, confident children, filled with the self-esteem and tools they need to be happy and productive adults.

I hope that I’m successful. I hope they always feel adored and self-confident. I hope their lives are happy. Their childhood is happy. I hope they learn from their Dad and I what love is all about.

And more than anything, I hope that they will one day be lucky enough to feel like that little boy felt.

To see the world the way he saw it.

 

 

New Year’s resolutions for families

The great thing about New Year’s resolutions is that you can make them even after the clock has struck midnight and the silly hats have been put away.

I find that it takes a few days after the hubbub of the winter holidays has passed to reflect and allow priorities for the coming year to crystallize. Luckily, there’s no one checking our homework to ensure our New Year’s resolutions are dutifully recorded, or standing there with a stopwatch to make sure we’re getting to the gym, teaching our kids Mandarin or cleaning closets January 1. If you haven’t yet quite figured out what you’d like 2014 to hold for your family, don’t sweat it! You can gently move in the direction of your goals as you catch your breath.

Here’s how I like to approach New Year’s resolutions, both for myself and my family:

Keep it simple: This isn’t your bucket list. If your resolutions fill an entire page single-spaced, you’re complicating it too much. The point is not to catalogue your vision of the perfect life with everything you’d hope to accomplish from perfectly tidy kids’ rooms to learning to play the guitar. There are many virtuous pursuits to undertake as the various seasons of our lives allow. Go easy on yourself and zero in on what really matters to you and yours in 2014.

Accelerate slowly: Whatever your goals are, choose metrics that are realistic. If, like so many others, your goal is to exercise more, don’t make your resolution “Go to the gym five times a week.” It’s January. It’s cold. New routines take a while to establish. Instead, consider articulating your fitness goal with something like “Improve endurance and strength.” This way you’ll be making progress even if all you’ve committed to for today is one weekly yoga class and more brisk evening walks. Once you’ve got a little momentum, ramp up.

Make resolutions about the important stuff: Yes, it would be nice if every closet were perfectly organized. As the owner of what I like to refer to as “The Garage of Doom” and “Attic of Shame,” I know what I’m talking about. But as much as it would be nice to address these overflowing storage spaces, I’m not sure that getting organized for that garage sale we keep talking about is really a priority for us this year.

I like how Leslee Mason, Canadian Family senior editor and mom of four, is approaching resolutions at her house in 2014. Her family has pledged to go screen-free one day a week. “We’re going to start small with a weekday but then work up to a Saturday or Sunday spent playing boardgames,” she says. It’s a goal that emphasizes quality family time, and I can’t wait to hear how it goes! You can learn more about what Leslee and other families are pledging to do in 2014 in our special New Year’s resolutions package in the Winter issue of Canadian Family, which is on newsstands now, and find more inspiration in this great list of 101 goals to accomplish over 1001 days

Involve the kids: Sometimes family resolutions are going to be the inspiration of Mom and Dad, but your kids probably have some great ideas about how they’d like to spend time as a family or what they’d like to prioritize. Ask. Sure, they might say they want to go on a Disney cruise, but they might also simply request more family taco nights.

Celebrate growth: While it’s great to keep resolutions about family fun, the changing of the calendar year does provide a tidy excuse to gently nudge your child toward simple goals that will benefit him and the family as a whole. The key is to frame these in a positive light: “Wow, now that you’re nine and getting so much more responsible, I think this may just be the year you can learn to write things down in your school agenda. What do you think about that as a potential New Year’s resolution?” Ditto taking out the recycling containers, remembering to make their own beds in the morning or picking up Duplo.

This is a bit of an unusual year for me in New Year’s resolutions. About a year ago I decided that I would endeavor to complete the Pentathlon des Neiges in Quebec City as a way to mark my 40th birthday. The event is on February 22nd, so getting through the last weeks of training is my only New Year’s goal. It’s a biggie, so I’m not complicating life with anything else right now. My eldest son, Cameron, 10, says his goal is to help me, which is pretty sweet. We decided that one of the ways he could do this is by making dinner once a week, something he was doing for a while until soccer disrupted his cooking night. Until now we just haven’t managed to reestablish the routine. He told his brother to, “Get ready for grilled cheese sandwiches and simple pulled pork!” (his two specialties).

Today I’m up early to finish this blog post and squeeze in some time on the stationary bike before the kids get up (mercifully, they’re past the early-waking years during which I never needed an alarm clock). When the Pentathlon is past, I look forward to seeing what the rest of 2014 will hold. May it be a great one for you and yours!

What are your family’s New Year’s resolutions? Please share in the comments!

 

About the Author:

Brandie Weikle, Editor-In-Chief of Canadian Family

Brandie Weikle has been a parenting journalist for more than 13 years. She’s the Editor-In-Chief of Canadian Family magazine, has been parenting and relationships editor at the Toronto Star and held various roles at Today’s Parent. On the digital side, Brandie was the founding editor of the Toronto Star’s ParentCentral.ca and digital director of House & Home Media. She’s an avid user of social networks, especially Twitter, where she tweets as @bweikle. Raised in Alberta and B.C., she’s a winter sports enthusiast and the mother of two boys, Cameron, 10, and Alister, 6.

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