I consider myself a feminist.
I also consider myself to be independent. Before I moved in with my husband, I had my own apartment and I learned how to do things on my own.
I figured out how to get myself around the city without a car, how to fix things in my apartment when they broke and how to manage my money so that I could pay my rent, my school books and still manage to eat something other than macaroni and cheese.
I didn’t need anyone else.
Then I met my husband and allowing someone else to do things for me took some getting used to. Eventually we found our groove and have become a great partnership.
I’m a morning person so I tend to take on more of the morning responsibilities. My husband is definitely a night person so he tends to have more patience dealing with baths and bedtime.
We work best when we work together in sync.
I’ve come across many different posts online that outline why women don’t need men and I find myself struggling with it.
The truth is, I do need my husband.
I need my husband for so many reasons. I need my husband because I wouldn’t be able to live the life that I live without him. I need my husband because we share our fears, our laughter and even our tears. I need my husband because he supports me in following my dreams.
How on earth would I be able to work two jobs if I didn’t have him here to tag team responsibilities?
As an introvert, alone time is absolutely essential to my well-being and when I need it, I can turn to him and he understands what I need and allows me to have it.
When I’m feeling down on myself and need someone to lift my spirits, he’s the one I turn to.
I couldn’t live in our house and still send my kids to dance lessons and hockey practice and take my kids on vacations without his financial contribution.
I love this life we have built together, but the truth is I couldn’t have this life without him.
But here’s the kicker; he couldn’t have this life without me either. Just as I need him, he needs me too.
He needs me to take over morning responsibilities so that he doesn’t have to pop up out of bed and try to be a morning person. He needs me because when he’s feeling frustrated and stressed, I can take the kids out for the afternoon and give him some down time. He needs me to push him out of his comfort zone and encourage him to try new things. He needs me because he also needs someone to share his fears, his laughter and his tears with.
He couldn’t live in our house and send his kids to dance lessons or hockey practice and go on vacations without my financial contribution.
The fact is, we need each other.
It has taken years to build this life we have. It has taken patience, kindness, compromise and determination to build this life. We have survived devastating blows and have picked our shattered selves up together. We have cried our own pool of tears together and have laughed big belly laughs that steal our breath, hurt our cheeks and leave us feeling so full of life and love.
We are where we are today because of all that we have done together.
Could I live alone, without him? Of course I could. I lived on my own before he walked into my life and he lived his own life before me. If I had to, I could again. There are times, when we are going through our lows, when I wonder if maybe I would be better off without him. When it has been days since we’ve had a real conversation. When anger, resentment and hurt feelings overshadow the love we have for each other. When sheer exhaustion takes over and prevents us from seeing things as they truly are. I find myself wondering if I could do this alone.
But then I remember that I don’t want to do this without him.
My life would be so very different without him. I wouldn’t be living the life that I am living now without him.
I am proud of what we have done together. I am proud of the life we have made. I am proud of the home we have built for our children. I am proud of the relationship that we have together.
I don’t want any other life.
So yes, I am a feminist and I also need my husband – desperately. Just as he needs me.