A Short Timeline of My Day as a Parent

6am: Wake up to the pleasant and melodic sounds of my toddler screaming.
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6:30am: Serve my children breakfast only to be told that they are no longer eating cereal and they now require a hot breakfast.
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8am: Rush to get the children to their various drop-off points: school, childcare, etc. Pray to the school gods that I haven’t forgotten anything seriously crucial like Show & Share day.
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12:30pm: Eat lunch at desk, uninterrupted while reading everything trashy on the internet. Feel very lovely and relaxed.
giphy (2)

3:05pm: Rush to pick the children up from their various locations. Pray to the time gods that I won’t be *that* mother and be late once again.
giphy (4)

5:01pm: Ditch plans to cook a healthy hot meal (they already had a hot breakfast, after all) and declare it “Picnic Night”!! (Which actually just means scrounging around for toast, cereal, cup up apples and whatever else we still have in the fridge).
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8:00pm: Perform the Dance of Bedtime with the children, including stories, songs, stuffies… until they finally stop talking, close their eyes and fall asleep.
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8:05pm: Head directly for the couch for a glass of wine, TV and a little relaxation before bed.
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8:06pm: Fall asleep sitting up on the couch.
giphy (7)

 

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